I just bought Minecraft yesterday, and I'm getting frustrated as all hell.
Whenever I try to create a new world, Minecraft will freeze for a solid 10 minutes- and crash. I've looked everywhere on the forums for a solution, but there's absolutely nothing about this error.
Please help, and don't make me regret wasting 20 dollars on a game that won't work.

---- Minecraft Crash Report ----
// I just don't know what went wrong

Time: 22/08/14 7:31 PM
Description: Starting integrated server

java.lang.ExceptionInInitializerError
at net.minecraft.server.MinecraftServer.<init>(SourceFile:120)
at bsx.<init>(SourceFile:38)
at bao.a(SourceFile:1610)
at bdb.a(SourceFile:202)
at bdw.a(SourceFile:172)
at bdb.a(SourceFile:301)
at bdw.k(SourceFile:232)
at bdw.p(SourceFile:211)
at bao.p(SourceFile:1328)
at bao.ak(SourceFile:774)
at bao.f(SourceFile:728)
at net.minecraft.client.main.Main.main(SourceFile:148)
Caused by: java.lang.IllegalStateException: failed to create a child event loop
at io.netty.util.concurrent.MultithreadEventExecutorGroup.<init>(MultithreadEventExecutorGroup.java:61)
at io.netty.channel.MultithreadEventLoopGroup.<init>(MultithreadEventLoopGroup.java:49)
at io.netty.channel.nio.NioEventLoopGroup.<init>(NioEventLoopGroup.java:61)
at io.netty.channel.nio.NioEventLoopGroup.<init>(NioEventLoopGroup.java:52)
at nc.<clinit>(SourceFile:31)
... 12 more
Caused by: io.netty.channel.ChannelException: failed to open a new selector
at io.netty.channel.nio.NioEventLoop.openSelector(NioEventLoop.java:128)
at io.netty.channel.nio.NioEventLoop.<init>(NioEventLoop.java:120)
at io.netty.channel.nio.NioEventLoopGroup.newChild(NioEventLoopGroup.java:87)
at io.netty.util.concurrent.MultithreadEventExecutorGroup.<init>(MultithreadEventExecutorGroup.java:57)
... 16 more
Caused by: java.io.IOException: Unable to establish loopback connection
at sun.nio.ch.PipeImpl$Initializer.run(Unknown Source)
at sun.nio.ch.PipeImpl$Initializer.run(Unknown Source)
at java.security.AccessController.doPrivileged(Native Method)
at sun.nio.ch.PipeImpl.<init>(Unknown Source)
at sun.nio.ch.SelectorProviderImpl.openPipe(Unknown Source)
at java.nio.channels.Pipe.open(Unknown Source)
at sun.nio.ch.WindowsSelectorImpl.<init>(Unknown Source)
at sun.nio.ch.WindowsSelectorProvider.openSelector(Unknown Source)
at io.netty.channel.nio.NioEventLoop.openSelector(NioEventLoop.java:126)
... 19 more
Caused by: java.net.ConnectException: Connection timed out: connect
at sun.nio.ch.Net.connect0(Native Method)
at sun.nio.ch.Net.connect(Unknown Source)
at sun.nio.ch.Net.connect(Unknown Source)
at sun.nio.ch.SocketChannelImpl.connect(Unknown Source)
at java.nio.channels.SocketChannel.open(Unknown Source)
... 28 more

A detailed walkthrough of the error, its code path and all known details is as follows:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

– Head –
Stacktrace:
at net.minecraft.server.MinecraftServer.<init>(SourceFile:120)
at bsx.<init>(SourceFile:38)

– Starting integrated server –
Details:
Level ID: New World----
Level Name: New World
Stacktrace:
at bao.a(SourceFile:1610)
at bdb.a(SourceFile:202)
at bdw.a(SourceFile:172)
at bdb.a(SourceFile:301)
at bdw.k(SourceFile:232)
at bdw.p(SourceFile:211)

– Affected screen –
Details:
Screen name: bee
Stacktrace:
at bao.p(SourceFile:1328)
at bao.ak(SourceFile:774)
at bao.f(SourceFile:728)
at net.minecraft.client.main.Main.main(SourceFile:148)

– System Details –
Details:
Minecraft Version: 1.7.10
Operating System: Windows 8 (x86) version 6.2
Java Version: 1.7.0_67, Oracle Corporation
Java VM Version: Java HotSpot(TM) Client VM (mixed mode), Oracle Corporation
Memory: 138326896 bytes (131 MB) / 172867584 bytes (164 MB) up to 523501568 bytes (499 MB)
JVM Flags: 6 total; -XX:HeapDumpPath=MojangTricksIntelDriversForPerformance_javaw.exe_minecraft.exe.heapdump -Xmx512M -XX:+UseConcMarkSweepGC -XX:+CMSIncrementalMode -XX:-UseAdaptiveSizePolicy -Xmn128M
AABB Pool Size: 0 (0 bytes; 0 MB) allocated, 0 (0 bytes; 0 MB) used
IntCache: cache: 0, tcache: 0, allocated: 0, tallocated: 0
Launched Version: 1.7.10
LWJGL: 2.9.1
OpenGL: AMD Radeon HD 7640G + 7670M Dual Graphics GL version 4.2.11764 Compatibility Profile Context, ATI Technologies Inc.
GL Caps: Using GL 1.3 multitexturing.
Using framebuffer objects because OpenGL 3.0 is supported and separate blending is supported.
Anisotropic filtering is supported and maximum anisotropy is 16.
Shaders are available because OpenGL 2.1 is supported.

Is Modded: Probably not. Jar signature remains and client brand is untouched.
Type: Client (map_client.txt)
Resource Packs: []
Current Language: English (US)
Profiler Position: N/A (disabled)
Vec3 Pool Size: 0 (0 bytes; 0 MB) allocated, 0 (0 bytes; 0 MB) used
Anisotropic Filtering: Off (1)