The bug seems to be that my launcher is missing files, or else they are broken. it seems to not be able to find a file called:
"C:\Program Files (x86) \Java\jre7\bin\javaw.exe"

What I expected to happen was:
The game to load and run after clicking play.

What actually happened was:
The launcher failed to launch the game, and a new tab called "Game Output" opened, which has nothing in it.

It does not matter the version or type of Minecraft I attempt to play, it
always happens.

Steps to Reproduce:
1. Open a Minecraft 1.6.11 launcher,
2. Click play,
3. Nothing happens,
4. Rage.

And for information, not only have I never had this issue before recently downloading the newest launcher, but it happens now whether I use the old Minecraft.exe, the new .exe, the .msi, or my previously installed since 1.7.6 launcher. I have re-downloaded Minecraft multiple times and ways, including just using the "Repair" button in the .msi Installer multiple times, and updating Java, to no avail. I will try one more time, and provide the Launcher Log.

Edit: Steps to fix: (Windows)
1. Right click Minecraft Icon/file and click "Properties" at the bottom.
2. Open the "Compatibility" tab and Check the "Run this program as an administrator" box.
3. Click "Apply" or "OK" at the bottom of the page.
4. Open the Minecraft launcher, and click "Edit Profile" on the bottom left.
5. At the bottom of the page, uncheck the "Executable" box, and then check the "JVM arguments" box
6. Important: Do not edit any of the info in the text bar next to the JVM arguments, or you could cause more issues.
7. Click "Save profile" on the bottom right and you should be able to play, assuming you have this same issue.

Credit to Aiden Crane from Issue MCL-3462 for the fix.

Note: I am by no means an official Minecraft employee or an experienced coder, so if this doesn't fix your issue please contact Mojang support or keep searching here. (Probably both.)
Also, best not to consider this a 100% or permanent fix, as bug fixes my lead to more changes in your particular settings being needed.

*(If any Minecraft officianato or JIRA mod thinks there is anything incorrect here or that I am wrong in some way, please do correct me, as my intention of this edit is to help others with the same issue, not mislead, which I could be doing.) -Thanks