Client version 2.3.449-1.1.28, not listed in Affect Version/s

Client will not connect to minecraft services and will not let me play my game. "We are unable to verify the products you own. Please check your internet connection."

I have tried:

1. updating Java
2. updating my computer, and restarting it
3. reinstalling the client
4. deleting the appdata folder for minecraft, and reinstalling the minecraft launcher again
5. switching wifi networks (i have 2.4 and 5 at home)
6. testing my internet connection with other apps and devices
7. switching to the beta launcher (b 2.3.451-1.1.28)

I first got an error about Minecraft Realtime Environment being likely corrupted, and to reinstall through there. I'm not sure if my double reinstall fixed it. I saw an article about this being a common issue, but mine will not fix at all.