Connection Lost Internal Exception: java.io.IOException: An existing connection was forcibly closed by the remote host

So this is happening constantly, on bigger servers and realms,

it doesn't occur when playing on host servers just major servers and realms i tried everything from reinstalling java to minecraft to portforwarding flushing dns setting my NAT type.

is there any way that you can see the connection problem from my IP and the connection to the specific server from the code?