Minecraft crashes after creating a new world or opening an old one. No matter what I do.

What I expected to happen was...:
It to open Minecraft

What actually happened was...:
It crashes and opens a Crash Report saying:

---- Minecraft Crash Report ----
// Don't do that.

Time: 5/11/16 4:03 PM
Description: Updating screen events

java.lang.IllegalStateException: failed to create a child event loop
at io.netty.util.concurrent.MultithreadEventExecutorGroup.<init>(MultithreadEventExecutorGroup.java:68)
at io.netty.channel.MultithreadEventLoopGroup.<init>(MultithreadEventLoopGroup.java:49)
at io.netty.channel.nio.NioEventLoopGroup.<init>(NioEventLoopGroup.java:61)
at io.netty.channel.nio.NioEventLoopGroup.<init>(NioEventLoopGroup.java:52)
at ll$1.a(SourceFile:44)
at ll$1.b(SourceFile:41)
at no.c(SourceFile:10)
at ll.a(SourceFile:121)
at ave.a(SourceFile:1941)
at axb.a(SourceFile:210)
at axu.a(SourceFile:350)
at axb.a(SourceFile:350)
at axu.k(SourceFile:413)
at axu.p(SourceFile:390)
at ave.s(SourceFile:1497)
at ave.av(SourceFile:888)
at ave.a(SourceFile:325)
at net.minecraft.client.main.Main.main(SourceFile:124)
Caused by: io.netty.channel.ChannelException: failed to open a new selector
at io.netty.channel.nio.NioEventLoop.openSelector(NioEventLoop.java:128)
at io.netty.channel.nio.NioEventLoop.<init>(NioEventLoop.java:120)
at io.netty.channel.nio.NioEventLoopGroup.newChild(NioEventLoopGroup.java:87)
at io.netty.util.concurrent.MultithreadEventExecutorGroup.<init>(MultithreadEventExecutorGroup.java:64)
... 17 more
Caused by: java.io.IOException: Unable to establish loopback connection
at sun.nio.ch.PipeImpl$Initializer.run(PipeImpl.java:101)
at sun.nio.ch.PipeImpl$Initializer.run(PipeImpl.java:68)
at java.security.AccessController.doPrivileged(Native Method)
at sun.nio.ch.PipeImpl.<init>(PipeImpl.java:170)
at sun.nio.ch.SelectorProviderImpl.openPipe(SelectorProviderImpl.java:50)
at java.nio.channels.Pipe.open(Pipe.java:155)
at sun.nio.ch.WindowsSelectorImpl.<init>(WindowsSelectorImpl.java:127)
at sun.nio.ch.WindowsSelectorProvider.openSelector(WindowsSelectorProvider.java:44)
at io.netty.channel.nio.NioEventLoop.openSelector(NioEventLoop.java:126)
... 20 more
Caused by: java.net.SocketException: Unrecognized Windows Sockets error: 10106: socket
at sun.nio.ch.Net.socket0(Native Method)
at sun.nio.ch.Net.serverSocket(Net.java:419)
at sun.nio.ch.ServerSocketChannelImpl.<init>(ServerSocketChannelImpl.java:88)
at sun.nio.ch.SelectorProviderImpl.openServerSocketChannel(SelectorProviderImpl.java:56)
at java.nio.channels.ServerSocketChannel.open(ServerSocketChannel.java:108)
at sun.nio.ch.PipeImpl$Initializer$LoopbackConnector.run(PipeImpl.java:123)
at sun.nio.ch.PipeImpl$Initializer.run(PipeImpl.java:83)
... 28 more

A detailed walkthrough of the error, its code path and all known details is as follows:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

– Head –
Stacktrace:
at io.netty.util.concurrent.MultithreadEventExecutorGroup.<init>(MultithreadEventExecutorGroup.java:68)
at io.netty.channel.MultithreadEventLoopGroup.<init>(MultithreadEventLoopGroup.java:49)
at io.netty.channel.nio.NioEventLoopGroup.<init>(NioEventLoopGroup.java:61)
at io.netty.channel.nio.NioEventLoopGroup.<init>(NioEventLoopGroup.java:52)
at ll$1.a(SourceFile:44)
at ll$1.b(SourceFile:41)
at no.c(SourceFile:10)
at ll.a(SourceFile:121)
at ave.a(SourceFile:1941)
at axb.a(SourceFile:210)
at axu.a(SourceFile:350)
at axb.a(SourceFile:350)
at axu.k(SourceFile:413)
at axu.p(SourceFile:390)

– Affected screen –
Details:
Screen name: aya
Stacktrace:
at ave.s(SourceFile:1497)
at ave.av(SourceFile:888)
at ave.a(SourceFile:325)
at net.minecraft.client.main.Main.main(SourceFile:124)

– System Details –
Details:
Minecraft Version: 1.8.7
Operating System: Windows 7 (amd64) version 6.1
CPU: 4x Intel(R) Core(TM) i5-2520M CPU @ 2.50GHz
Java Version: 1.8.0_25, Oracle Corporation
Java VM Version: Java HotSpot(TM) 64-Bit Server VM (mixed mode), Oracle Corporation
Memory: 118469160 bytes (112 MB) / 293969920 bytes (280 MB) up to 1060372480 bytes (1011 MB)
JVM Flags: 6 total; -XX:HeapDumpPath=MojangTricksIntelDriversForPerformance_javaw.exe_minecraft.exe.heapdump -Xmx1G -XX:+UseConcMarkSweepGC -XX:+CMSIncrementalMode -XX:-UseAdaptiveSizePolicy -Xmn128M
IntCache: cache: 0, tcache: 0, allocated: 13, tallocated: 95
Launched Version: 1.8.7
LWJGL: 2.9.4
OpenGL: Intel(R) HD Graphics Family GL version 3.0.0 - Build 8.15.10.2321, Intel
GL Caps: Using GL 1.3 multitexturing.
Using GL 1.3 texture combiners.
Using framebuffer objects because OpenGL 3.0 is supported and separate blending is supported.
Shaders are available because OpenGL 2.1 is supported.
VBOs are available because OpenGL 1.5 is supported.

Using VBOs: No
Is Modded: Probably not. Jar signature remains and client brand is untouched.
Type: Client (map_client.txt)
Resource Packs: []
Current Language: English (US)
Profiler Position: N/A (disabled)

Steps to Reproduce:
1. Play Offline
2. Create new world or select old one
3. Click to open
4. Crash